Mental Health Update

A friend asked me how I was feeling recently to which I replied drained and jaded. This is absolutely true. The world has been sick and we have been bearing witness to so many rapid changes in our existance and it's happening so fast that it's been overwhelming to process. 
One year ago, we were talking about how great that year was going to be and not realizing what was ahead of us. Change is always uncomfortable, even when it's good change, but this change was making at least me spiral. There were days I didn't know which way was up; there were days I didn't know how much longer I could take this, how much longer could the world take this. There are still days that I leave the house and look around pondering, "Is this real life?"
We said goodbye to family and friends. Some of our favorite activities were put on hold; some have yet to return. We watched businesses close and struggle to get by. We watched other businesses grow, exponentially. Some lost their jobs, some worked harder then ever. 
Everyone's experience through this entire process has been completely different but one thing we are probably all feeling is drained. This experience has taken more out of me then anything else. 
My cup was never even half full. I felt like I was running on the last sip of coffee all day, so it was by choice that I decided to remove some things that were not serving me. Having things that were taking away from my mental well being and making it difficult for me to take care of myself and my family had to go. So, those things went but not without emotion about some of them. 
Removing those distractions made me face a lot of truths I was trying to distract myself from. It was soo uncomfortable and continues to be, but I feel I know myself more than I ever have. I will not come out of this stronger or more resiliant. I have not gotten this far unscathed. I am tattered and torn, drained and jaded, and also open and emapthetic.

How are you feeling? Have you given up anything in your life? Have you added anything into your life?

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